Randy the Cat by Chris Lake

Scar Gangster

2012-01-07T00:01:00.000-06:00

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A Doctor's Christmas

2011-12-23T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Smiley

2011-07-23T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Slapstick

2011-07-16T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Dinosaur Channel

2011-07-09T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Poetry Assignment 2

2011-02-12T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Desert Island

2011-02-05T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Need to Use the Potty?

2010-12-11T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Poetry Assignment

2010-12-04T02:01:00.000-06:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentIf you like Randy The Cat, you can now "like" Randy The Cat as a Facebook thing and get updates in your news feed... if that's the sort of thing that you do.

Utility Belt

2010-11-20T02:01:00.000-06:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentThe old TV Batman always had exactly what he needed in his utility belt, such as a huge, cumbersome can of shark repellent. I remember once there was a cliffhanger in which we saw the Batmobile explode! Ah, but in the next episode Batman informs Robin that this is exactly why he always carries an inflatable Batmobile to use as a decoy. There is logic in that. That way, when someone explodes your Batmobile, you can retort with, "Ha! That was the inflatable Batmobile I always carry with me everywhere! Nice try, jerk!"

Don't Drink Pop

2010-11-13T02:01:00.000-06:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentThe first thing the Buddha did after he cut off his ponytail was stop drinking pop.

I guess we each pick our own list of things that we avoid in order to live a healthier lifestyle. I don't smoke and I drink very little, but I'll never give up my morning coffee and I'll never be entirely off root beer.

Music Conquers

2010-11-06T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentYou guys kind of lost me after Doom II.

Moon Monster

2010-10-30T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentYa ever just can't stop thinkin' about The Beatles?

Paperbacks

2010-10-23T02:01:00.000-05:00

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What Are You Listening To?

2010-10-16T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentThe Batman soundtrack sounds like the music from an alternate-reality version of the film, which is all about sex. Batman sings a soulful ballad about makin' love. I'd really love to see this.

Database Issues

2010-10-09T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentI do believe Holmes himself said that whatever explanation remains, however improbable...

Mystery Team

2010-10-02T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentIf you fail in this mission, I will disavow all knowledge of having sent several adolescents to investigate a jewel heist.

Two Great Tastes

2010-09-25T02:01:00.000-05:00

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I can understand the guy with the chocolate bar, but who walks around with an open jar of peanut butter?

Follow The Robot

2010-09-18T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Invaders Overrun Washington!

2010-09-11T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Tech "Bytes"

2010-09-04T02:01:00.000-05:00

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most RecentWhat happened to all those "Ate My Balls" web sites? Did they all go down with Geocities? I suppose if I was really curious I could type "Ate My Balls" into Google, but I'm somewhat reluctant.

To change the subject, I'm getting really into Prince lately. My wife refuses to follow me into the world of Prince, though, after hearing the prolonged simulation of the sex act featured at the end of "Do Me, Baby". Yes, I must admit it is kind of unpleasant. It's less icky if you just think of it as some sort of protracted gross-out joke in a Judd Apatow movie. An actual quote follows:

"What are you gonna do just sit there and watch? ... Okay."

Apology from Morrissey

2010-08-21T02:01:00.000-05:00

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I had my annual physical today, and while I sat in the waiting room the TV on the wall was showing an Andy Griffith marathon. The experience was so agreeable, that I think all hospital waiting rooms, bank lobbies and other public spaces with TV should always be playing Andy Griffith instead of Fox News. Start writing letters, folks. Let's make this happen!

Rare Vinyl

2010-08-14T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Health Advice Badly Taken

2010-08-07T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Traffic Report

2010-07-31T08:22:00.000-05:00

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Twist Ending

2009-10-24T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Quantum something.

Dog Stand

2009-09-19T02:01:00.000-05:00

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My wife saw her mother's dog eat a fresh cat dump while the cat was still present.

Enjoying nature in nature

2009-09-12T02:01:00.000-05:00

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One time Mario went to Randy-the-Cat-Land and got way more extra lives than he knew what to do with.

Birds Suddenly

2009-08-08T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Mouse at the Movies

2009-07-04T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Space Outside

2009-06-20T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Nothing gets good, old Captain Randy down today. I'm not sure why: A great cuppa joe, new insoles, ionized atmosphere, euphoria-inducing spores, The Lorelei Signal? I find it's best just to make the most of it!

Bedside manner

2009-06-06T02:01:00.000-05:00

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This doctor is honestly trying to help - he doesn't know why it isn't working.

You want to do space?

2009-05-30T02:01:00.000-05:00

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"Down in space it's always nineteen eighty-two."

Dracula Returns at Dawn

2009-05-23T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Nigel digs smart chicks

2009-05-16T02:01:00.000-05:00

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(New to Randy the Cat? This one is pretty good. This is also a nice one. Also try this, this, this, that, thars, rejecting Satan, potato joke, Super Mario, Godzilla, and internet life insurance. Also, next week's comic is going to be amazing.)

I think the only way to account for the difference between your personal taste and that of the mainstream is that you are a super-genius who likes better things. (You know, I make a lot of fun of this, but part of me still wants to believe it.)

Granddad's Shopping List

2009-05-09T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Seminar: Priorities

2009-05-02T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Seminar: Introduction

2009-04-25T02:01:00.000-05:00

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I attended a "7 Habits" class through my employer. On the first day I kept waiting for this moment to happen, but it did not. Maybe they wait until you get to the next level and they fly you out to Utah to drink the excretions of some large, mutant worm.

Art Project

2009-04-18T02:01:00.000-05:00

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In a recent podcast, Dan Savage expressed concern that kids these days are going to grow up with a kink for centaurs. He might have been a little high at the time.

Taxonomy

2009-04-11T02:01:00.000-05:00

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The red-breasted birds that mid-westerners see a lot of this time of year are called "Robins". People who watch a lot of Japanese cartoons are called "Japanimaniacs".

Randy responds to a perceived threat

2009-04-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

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Wait! Is this the first explicit statement of Randy the Cat's age in the comic strip? Was that just something tossed in for the sake of the joke, or is that to be taken as Randy the Cat's real, chronological age? Is this contradicted in the various spin-off media? How does this affect Randy fanfic, which might make different presumptions about the characters' ages? IS THIS CANON???

Look, I'm not my father

2009-03-28T02:01:00.000-05:00

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That's right, they can call you on your cell phone now: Some stranger in a cubicle reading from a script, presuming because of your father's reputation that you also do Kung Fu.

Randy the real cat

2009-03-21T14:17:00.000-05:00

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Nothing in this strip really turned out looking like I wanted it to, but instead of redrawing it, I've decided to move on.

Randy learns about junk

2009-03-14T14:12:00.000-05:00

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My wife knows someone who made this mistake shortly after learning the colloquial meaning of "junk".

Final Dilbert

2009-02-21T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Mary Worth happened to be walking by on the sidewalk and she was killed by falling debris.

Dogs Cannot Dance

2009-02-14T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Introducing Spaceman

2009-02-07T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Your mother is so fat.

2009-01-31T12:39:00.000-06:00

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If I can call your attention to the little box below this comic, you'll see that I now have a Twitter feed. This is all the more reason to come to this website every day just to make sure I've had a good breakfast and am dressed appropriately for the weather.

A Riddle

2009-01-24T02:01:00.000-06:00

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This is the first Randy the Cat strip I've drawn since adopting an actual fat-cat-indeed. You can already see the verisimilitude it's lending to my art. Did you notice how Randy wants some cat food? REAL cats want some cat food!

Green Eggs and Ham

2008-12-20T02:01:00.000-06:00

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For those of you who, like myself, are concerned with animal welfare: It may help you to know that the goat emerged from the cave with the same smile he was wearing when he went in. Or perhaps that is more horrifying. It's hard to say. Merry Christmas!

Baby Name

2008-11-29T15:17:00.000-06:00

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Balloon Head In Space

2008-11-22T02:35:00.000-06:00

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Want for Xmas

2008-11-15T02:01:00.000-06:00

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Last Leaf

2008-11-08T03:00:00.000-06:00

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Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!

2008-11-04T11:44:00.000-06:00

However you choose to celebrate the outcome of the American election, enjoy yourself! I've decided to celebrate with a dancing chicken and Blur's "Awesome Song for Movie Previews and Sports Highlight Reels".

Proceed to the comic strip "Randy the Cat".

Finished Raking Leaves

2008-11-01T03:00:00.000-05:00

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Leaf Feelings

2008-10-25T03:00:00.000-05:00

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The blog at thecure.com actually seems to be written by front man Robert Smith himself. It's mainly just information about the upcoming album, but I love how it's written in ALL CAPS with lots of extra carriage returns and punctuation!

I WROTE
"IT WILL BE THE SAME EVERYWHERE
(AAAAAH... JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS?!!)"
AND IT WILL!

13 TRACKS (54:32?) E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E...
ON CD, VINYL AND ONLINE

Robert shares an email written to iTunes, in which he's pissed about the way a recent EP is priced in the U.K.

DEAR...

I FUCKING DESPAIR
AGAIN

HYPNAGOGIC STATES EP IS NOW UP ON UK ITUNES...

5 TRACKS FOR £7.99?
FOR FUCKS SAKE!

I love the idea of an artist contacting iTunes via email to rake them over the coals - telling them TWICE about how he fucking despairs.

Anyone who hates The Cure must have them confused with another band.

Sharm

2008-10-18T03:00:00.000-05:00

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The last time the Wizard got a hankering for Sonar Burger, security forces had achieved a major victory in the Iraqi province of Root Beer Float.

Perp Walk

2008-10-11T21:39:00.000-05:00

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This strip originally ran May 31, 2003

The reason you haven't been seeing Randy the Cat comics in this space for a while is that everything that has been happening in the news these past few weeks is actually a sequel to the above Randy the Cat strip. The scene depicted above takes place a while after the Enron kerfuffle resulted in television news images of big time businessmen being led away in handcuffs. I hope you've enjoyed the nutty nonsense of the wacky Randy the Cat comics you've been reading on the front page of every newspaper in the country on a daily basis!

Do You Have Enough???

2008-08-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

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The internet is a tool for reminding you that you are going to die unexpectedly, then using the sudden pang of emotion to sell you shit.

Save the Horses

2008-08-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

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It's nice that a genre of music one tends to associate with homophobes has a popular song about cowboy on cowboy action. I'm also glad to hear that horse conservation has hit the mainstream.

Talking Scale

2008-08-09T02:01:00.000-05:00

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Book to Film

2008-08-02T02:01:00.000-05:00

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I wish I knew what movie these mice were talking about so I could avoid it.

Air Travel Preparedness

2008-07-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

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Current Randy the Cat status: Not in this comic
Current music Randy is listening to: Kirby's Dreamland background music, being played on the Wizard's vintage Game Boy.

Randy the Cat comic strips can now be easily emailed to your friends by clicking on the little, mailey icon by the comic date.

Benefits

2008-07-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

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Angry about money? Why not take a break and watch "Weird Al" Yankovich's classic "Dare to Be Stupid"?

Bunny ball

2008-07-12T02:01:00.000-05:00

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That rabbit did not enter into this with any sort of plan.

Godzilla

2008-07-05T02:01:00.000-05:00

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For added effect, read this comic accompanied by the song "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult.

New mystery novel

2008-06-28T20:42:00.000-05:00

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Your loyalty to Randy the Cat has been rewarded: Here we see Randy wearing a blazer with a bona fide herringbone pattern. You're welcome.

Custom Coffee Cup

2008-05-17T03:00:00.000-05:00

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A Tale of Two Kitties

2008-05-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

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Adventures in Space: Epilogue

2008-05-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

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Super Mario

2008-04-26T10:27:00.000-05:00

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I don't think I've ever done anything in bed that was named after anyone, though as a gentleman I couldn't really tell you about it anyway.

Also, there are still a few days left wherein you can sponsor me in a charity hike and buy tents for refugees who have no other repose from the elements. If you click here, you'll find that donating is just as easy as anything else you do on the internet.

Been to London

2008-04-19T11:02:00.000-05:00

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I've never been to England, but the In Our Time podcast from BBC Radio 4 makes it seem like everyone there is a genius.

Moleskine

2008-04-12T11:01:00.000-05:00

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The Beard

2008-04-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

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To change the subject from beards and barbers, do you remember this Paul Simon music video featuring Chevy Chase? My wife reminded me of its existence last night, as we prowled YouTube late into the evening in search of music videos.

Plogger at the Doctor's Office

2008-03-22T21:22:00.000-05:00

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Potato Joke

2008-03-15T21:21:00.000-05:00

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On a completely non-potato-related note, the blog You Ain't No Picasso posted a ton of cover songs performed by the band Of Montreal a while back. I've finally gotten around to listening to some of these, which include some great covers of The Who and Prince. Of Montreal is one of my favorite bands whose members are currently all alive and still playing together.

Dog and Hydrant

2008-03-08T21:20:00.000-06:00

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If this isn't enough to sate your hunger for new, humorous material, you can also peruse my page of superior LOL Cats. I know it may seem that this internet trend has long gone stale and you likely think less of me for joining in, but I assure you this is not simply a retread of the same ground that has already been covered regarding funny captions applied to pictures of cats. I think you'll agree that the images I am providing are a vast improvement on what has previously been available.

Wizard Work

2008-03-01T21:19:00.000-06:00

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Very few people these days actually have dragons they want slain or unicorns in need of magical veterinary care. Wizards end up taking up a lot of handyman work.

Baptism

2008-02-23T21:07:00.000-06:00

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As the parent of a nine-month-old who hasn't technically had the ol' oil and water treatment, one of those t-shirts would make my life a lot easier. This strip also owes something to the French philosopher Voltaire, who on his deathbed was asked by a priest to renounce Satan and responded with something along the lines of "Now is no time to be making new enemies."

Brown Fox

2008-02-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

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Practice your cursive writing, folks. How else are you going to write things that eight-year-olds can't read?

The Loved One

2008-02-09T20:21:00.000-06:00

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There really are things that dead bodies can do to frighten the bejesus out of a person, though the practice of embalming and/or cremation eliminates a lot of this. Modern funeral practices just don't want anything cool to happen to anyone ever.

False Advertising

2008-02-02T20:18:00.000-06:00

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After I drew this comic, my wife noted to me that bathing suits in stores have a protective sticker over the the bit of the garmet that touches your v.

Classic

2008-01-26T15:47:00.000-06:00

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I believe the Randy the Cat storyline has gotten a bit convoluted, and this comic really brings it back to what it was originally meant to be. Next week: how lazy is Randy the Cat? Find out!

Alice's Restaurant

2008-01-19T09:02:00.000-06:00

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In case you haven't heard this song, it is the longest song on the planet Earth and is mostly a bunch of guitar plucking and jibber jabber. If you haven't heard it, I certainly don't wish it upon you.

Lookin' at Butts

2008-01-12T10:23:00.000-06:00

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Vaudeville Cuckoos: Part II

2008-01-05T14:25:00.000-06:00

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They actually stole this one from a really old Abbott and Costello routine from before they were on TV.

Vaudeville Cuckoos: Part I

2007-12-29T14:22:00.000-06:00

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Oh, those two nuts!

Taser

2007-12-22T14:16:00.000-06:00

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I know it isn't timely now, but please trust that I drew this comic right at the time when that kid was tasered at a John Kerry event.

Napalm in the afternoon, napalm at bedtime

2007-12-15T14:15:00.000-06:00

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I have yet to see this movie, but I think it turns out it was about groceries all along. In the end, Marlon Brando eats the groceries. He generously butters a big ol' stalk of celery and chomps down on it, there's a freeze frame and the credits roll.

Aesthetic Drift

2007-12-08T14:12:00.000-06:00

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1000 minutes free in your first month!

Ding Dong

2007-12-01T14:09:00.000-06:00

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Seriously, though, how often do you see someone anymore just sitting there eating a ding-dong or other such snack cake? We've been cast out of the snack cake Garden of Eden. We have eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of What Actually is in These Things.