Green Eggs and Ham

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Eww
For those of you who, like myself, are concerned with animal welfare: It may help you to know that the goat emerged from the cave with the same smile he was wearing when he went in. Or perhaps that is more horrifying. It's hard to say. Merry Christmas!

Baby Name

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
There are worse names out there these days.

Balloon Head In Space

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Write it down on that notepad by your bed.

Want for Xmas

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
I want there to be such things as ghosts and for me to bust them, until I get bored and want a starship instead.

Last Leaf

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Well there goes his hat.

Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!

If you can't see this dancing chicken, you are missing out on something special.



However you choose to celebrate the outcome of the American election, enjoy yourself! I've decided to celebrate with a dancing chicken and Blur's "Awesome Song for Movie Previews and Sports Highlight Reels".

Proceed to the comic strip "Randy the Cat".

Finished Raking Leaves

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
I love the old horse shit gag.

Leaf Feelings

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent

The blog at thecure.com actually seems to be written by front man Robert Smith himself. It's mainly just information about the upcoming album, but I love how it's written in ALL CAPS with lots of extra carriage returns and punctuation!
I WROTE
"IT WILL BE THE SAME EVERYWHERE
(AAAAAH... JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS?!!)"
AND IT WILL!

13 TRACKS (54:32?) E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E...
ON CD, VINYL AND ONLINE
Robert shares an email written to iTunes, in which he's pissed about the way a recent EP is priced in the U.K.
DEAR...

I FUCKING DESPAIR
AGAIN

HYPNAGOGIC STATES EP IS NOW UP ON UK ITUNES...

5 TRACKS FOR £7.99?
FOR FUCKS SAKE!

I love the idea of an artist contacting iTunes via email to rake them over the coals - telling them TWICE about how he fucking despairs.

Anyone who hates The Cure must have them confused with another band.

Sharm

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
What you see here is the only crystal skull Dan Aykroyd isn't aware of.
The last time the Wizard got a hankering for Sonar Burger, security forces had achieved a major victory in the Iraqi province of Root Beer Float.

Perp Walk

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
This strip originally ran May 31, 2003
The kind of news footage he's talking about is called a 'perp walk'
The reason you haven't been seeing Randy the Cat comics in this space for a while is that everything that has been happening in the news these past few weeks is actually a sequel to the above Randy the Cat strip. The scene depicted above takes place a while after the Enron kerfuffle resulted in television news images of big time businessmen being led away in handcuffs. I hope you've enjoyed the nutty nonsense of the wacky Randy the Cat comics you've been reading on the front page of every newspaper in the country on a daily basis!

Do You Have Enough???

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
This sort of thing really makes me want to stop reading the internet.
The internet is a tool for reminding you that you are going to die unexpectedly, then using the sudden pang of emotion to sell you shit.

Save the Horses

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
It doesn't really save a horse to ride a cowboy, because the horse is so much more efficient and runs almost entirely on oats and hay. You dopes.
It's nice that a genre of music one tends to associate with homophobes has a popular song about cowboy on cowboy action. I'm also glad to hear that horse conservation has hit the mainstream.

Talking Scale

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
The scale is saying that Randy the Cat weighs as much as many persons.

Book to Film

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Film adaptations are required by law to get screwy in the third act.
I wish I knew what movie these mice were talking about so I could avoid it.

Air Travel Preparedness

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Right now, Derfus is experiencing a childlike curiousity about what would happen if he jabbed one of these guys in the eye with his thumb.
Current Randy the Cat status: Not in this comic
Current music Randy is listening to: Kirby's Dreamland background music, being played on the Wizard's vintage Game Boy.

Randy the Cat comic strips can now be easily emailed to your friends by clicking on the little, mailey icon by the comic date.

Benefits

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
If you ever have these feelings you should take a walk for a while.
Angry about money? Why not take a break and watch "Weird Al" Yankovich's classic "Dare to Be Stupid"?

Bunny ball

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
You know how sometimes you load up the latest Randy the Cat comic, and it's just some cute crap like this?
That rabbit did not enter into this with any sort of plan.

Godzilla

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Luckily for Mothra et al, the laws of physics allow for tiny models of Tokyo made of balsa wood and plaster.
For added effect, read this comic accompanied by the song "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult.

New mystery novel

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
I don't know if this means anything, but the butler has been eating prawns.
Your loyalty to Randy the Cat has been rewarded: Here we see Randy wearing a blazer with a bona fide herringbone pattern. You're welcome.

Custom Coffee Cup

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Some days, that's what I'm thinking when I get to the end of that cup.

A Tale of Two Kitties

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent

Adventures in Space: Epilogue

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
See Star Trek: TOS episode 'The Alternative Factor'.

Super Mario

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
If you accidentally mention it in front of Super Mario, you kind of have to explain it to him.
I don't think I've ever done anything in bed that was named after anyone, though as a gentleman I couldn't really tell you about it anyway.

Also, there are still a few days left wherein you can sponsor me in a charity hike and buy tents for refugees who have no other repose from the elements. If you click here, you'll find that donating is just as easy as anything else you do on the internet.

Been to London

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
The bobbies in London have TARDISes, which helps them stop the most egregious crimes before they are committed.
I've never been to England, but the In Our Time podcast from BBC Radio 4 makes it seem like everyone there is a genius.

Moleskine

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
They say unicorn cheese can cause a person to levitate.

The Beard

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Barbers around here are pretty nice about supplying the appropriate outerwear.
To change the subject from beards and barbers, do you remember this Paul Simon music video featuring Chevy Chase? My wife reminded me of its existence last night, as we prowled YouTube late into the evening in search of music videos.

Plogger at the Doctor's Office

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
A plogger's life is sort of a combination of Smokey Bear and the Roseanne show.

Potato Joke

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Potatos are very dim.
On a completely non-potato-related note, the blog You Ain't No Picasso posted a ton of cover songs performed by the band Of Montreal a while back. I've finally gotten around to listening to some of these, which include some great covers of The Who and Prince. Of Montreal is one of my favorite bands whose members are currently all alive and still playing together.

Dog and Hydrant

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
This was very satisfying for the dog.
If this isn't enough to sate your hunger for new, humorous material, you can also peruse my page of superior LOL Cats. I know it may seem that this internet trend has long gone stale and you likely think less of me for joining in, but I assure you this is not simply a retread of the same ground that has already been covered regarding funny captions applied to pictures of cats. I think you'll agree that the images I am providing are a vast improvement on what has previously been available.

Wizard Work

Very few people these days actually have dragons they want slain or unicorns in need of magical veterinary care. Wizards end up taking up a lot of handyman work.

Baptism

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent

As the parent of a nine-month-old who hasn't technically had the ol' oil and water treatment, one of those t-shirts would make my life a lot easier. This strip also owes something to the French philosopher Voltaire, who on his deathbed was asked by a priest to renounce Satan and responded with something along the lines of "Now is no time to be making new enemies."

Brown Fox

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
I don't think you should call him lazy just because he wants to sit in his chair and read something.
Practice your cursive writing, folks. How else are you going to write things that eight-year-olds can't read?

The Loved One

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Aunt Edna had huge fangs, even in life.
There really are things that dead bodies can do to frighten the bejesus out of a person, though the practice of embalming and/or cremation eliminates a lot of this. Modern funeral practices just don't want anything cool to happen to anyone ever.

False Advertising

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
There is no way that goose can fit into that bathing suit.
After I drew this comic, my wife noted to me that bathing suits in stores have a protective sticker over the the bit of the garmet that touches your v.

Classic

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Don't steal my cheese!
I believe the Randy the Cat storyline has gotten a bit convoluted, and this comic really brings it back to what it was originally meant to be. Next week: how lazy is Randy the Cat? Find out!

Alice's Restaurant

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
You can have anything you want... but you can't escape.
In case you haven't heard this song, it is the longest song on the planet Earth and is mostly a bunch of guitar plucking and jibber jabber. If you haven't heard it, I certainly don't wish it upon you.

Lookin' at Butts

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent
Edison already invented the Butt-stereoscope, but good work nonetheless, Wizard.

Vaudeville Cuckoos: Part II

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent

They actually stole this one from a really old Abbott and Costello routine from before they were on TV.
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)