Randy the Cat by Chris Lake: 2010

Poetry Assignment

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent I'll meet you at the cemetery gates.

If you like Randy The Cat, you can now "like" Randy The Cat as a Facebook thing and get updates in your news feed... if that's the sort of thing that you do.

Utility Belt

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent Superheroes have to draw a line SOMEWHERE.

The old TV Batman always had exactly what he needed in his utility belt, such as a huge, cumbersome can of shark repellent. I remember once there was a cliffhanger in which we saw the Batmobile explode! Ah, but in the next episode Batman informs Robin that this is exactly why he always carries an inflatable Batmobile to use as a decoy. There is logic in that. That way, when someone explodes your Batmobile, you can retort with, "Ha! That was the inflatable Batmobile I always carry with me everywhere! Nice try, jerk!"

Don't Drink Pop

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent You're a slave to the carbonation industry, man.

The first thing the Buddha did after he cut off his ponytail was stop drinking pop.

I guess we each pick our own list of things that we avoid in order to live a healthier lifestyle. I don't smoke and I drink very little, but I'll never give up my morning coffee and I'll never be entirely off root beer.

Music Conquers

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent You need to buy a special controller, which is disappointing.

You guys kind of lost me after Doom II.

Moon Monster

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent He's much more lenient in his judgement of Ringo's solo stuff. Ringo's just so lovable.

Ya ever just can't stop thinkin' about The Beatles?

Paperbacks

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent Would you read them?

What Are You Listening To?

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent All hail the new king in town!

The Batman soundtrack sounds like the music from an alternate-reality version of the film, which is all about sex. Batman sings a soulful ballad about makin' love. I'd really love to see this.

Database Issues

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent

I do believe Holmes himself said that whatever explanation remains, however improbable...

Mystery Team

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent The Case of Oh My God Mister Hitchcock, Jupiter's Dead What Do We Do Now?

If you fail in this mission, I will disavow all knowledge of having sent several adolescents to investigate a jewel heist.

Two Great Tastes

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent I had to swat so many robot bugs just to clear a space in frame two for my characters to stand.

I can understand the guy with the chocolate bar, but who walks around with an open jar of peanut butter?

Follow The Robot

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent Just try to catch up with a Tom Servo hovering at top speed.

Invaders Overrun Washington!

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent KEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-YAH!

Tech "Bytes"

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent Microsoft's dress code has made an exception to allow Nigel to wear a plaid sport jacket.

What happened to all those "Ate My Balls" web sites? Did they all go down with Geocities? I suppose if I was really curious I could type "Ate My Balls" into Google, but I'm somewhat reluctant.

To change the subject, I'm getting really into Prince lately. My wife refuses to follow me into the world of Prince, though, after hearing the prolonged simulation of the sex act featured at the end of "Do Me, Baby". Yes, I must admit it is kind of unpleasant. It's less icky if you just think of it as some sort of protracted gross-out joke in a Judd Apatow movie. An actual quote follows:

"What are you gonna do just sit there and watch? ... Okay."

Apology from Morrissey

Oldest l Previous l Next l Most Recent Now I know how Joan of Arc felt: shitty.

I had my annual physical today, and while I sat in the waiting room the TV on the wall was showing an Andy Griffith marathon. The experience was so agreeable, that I think all hospital waiting rooms, bank lobbies and other public spaces with TV should always be playing Andy Griffith instead of Fox News. Start writing letters, folks. Let's make this happen!

Need to Use the Potty?